by Stephanie Myrick
I walked into camp with an extremely different perspective than I came out with. I stepped onto the University of Richmond campus thinking, oh, well, this is probably full of those referee kids who think making a joke about an indirect free kick on a foul in the box would make them cry of laughter. But yet again, being the blind referee I am, I was wrong. I stepped out with a new mind and eight new friends. I came home on the 19th wishing I could stay just a few days longer.
Our daily schedule was busier than I could imagine. We woke up at 5:15 a.m. then did running exercises. Breakfast was next and after was usually an hour and half classroom session. Then we reffed from around 10:30 ’till noon. Lunch, then another classroom session. Until 2:30 when we reffed, again, until 5. Dinner until 6, then more classroom until about 7:15 when we had games until 8:30. Which, then was time for bed, and most of us were happy for that time.
But we didn’t only do classroom and reffing. We had a referee relay, made up skits of inside jokes and laughed all the way through. We even got to play one night.
I was the youngest referee there, and honestly, I was a little intimidated by that. Especially having a national assessor, Arn Manella; national referee, Ben Jones; the author of Advice to Referees on the Laws of the Game and many of the law books, Dan Heldman; state instructor/ referee, Cookie Ketcham; and yet again, another national referee and emeritus, Doug Engstrom.
The most intimidating part I have to say was listening to all these other teens talking about their trip for ODP regionals in Rhode Island or their State Cup final matches. Even the male state referee of the year was there, Brian Lapierre. I just stared at them with my mouth opening wondering why I was even here. But again, I guess sometimes coaches are right (for once), I was a blind referee.
I grew quickly over the five day period. The biggest part of my game that grew was something that can’t be taught, and that was definitely my confidence. Ben Jones had told me that my voice was quiet and it was unique and should be louder. Ben clearly made sure I knew that when I did speak up, the once or twice he had heard, that it was effective. He had first watched me in my first U-18 boys center.
The camp was put on by the Richmond Strikers, so all these kids were elite travel players. Lets start from the beginning. I was assigned the center of the U-18 boy’s game and I was shaking in my boots. But, I gladly took the second half of the game. Not to say I did well and definitely not to the level of Andrew Lyell, the first half referee. My fouls weren’t! on target and I couldn’t reach out to the players. I was approached by three assessors and I was getting some good points, but my mind was still focused on the game.
The next day, Arn says, "Well, I say we put Stephanie in the center for this game." My mouth dropped. But again, I gladly took the game. I covered my nervous side with a high chin and walked on. The main suggestion I believe that pushed me through the game was Arn saying, "If you call a small foul around the midfield line in the first two minutes of the game, it will show the players that you will not tolerate any bad conduct." I called that foul and all the boys looked at me like I was serious. My head was higher than ever. I walked on the field like I was 8 feet tall, even though I am obviously shorter than every boy on the field. After that, everything went basically smooth.
At the camp, the coaches are told to give us a hard time and they only shouted once, maybe twice. When they did, I just walked by with a smile on my face. I was approached later by a coach of the younger team, probably around U-13, that I had reffed the day before. He comes up and goes, "Ma’am, I have to say. I talked to one of your assessors and they told me to tell you this personally or you would never listen. You have great presence on the field. When you talked to the coach at the beginning of the game, even I was scared. Usually, we give all the referees a hard time, but when you did talk to him, I said ’Dang, I don’t want to mess with her.’ I’m not sure exactly what it is, but your presence was very strong." And after my confidence high, a smile on my face was bigger than ever. To make that even better, I was one vote away from being the best female camper of the year.
Everything I learned showed that experience can only get you so far. I believe I leveled up with many of the referees. I may not have the law book on the back of my hand or been to every tournament on the east coast, but I had something to show. And that was that I may have a disadvantage of being short or even a woman, but I can tower over the boys. My voice can echo across the field now that makes the boys say, "Wow, she is someone not to mess with."
The PRIDE Academy will affect my game for the rest of my career because they set such a state of professionalism that can’t leave you. You can’t go anywhere without your shirt tucked in or a smile on your face. Everything they say is constructive and makes me feel like I am a great referee (which I also found out while I was there). I recommend for any young referee that is willing to take reffing seriously to go there. My out of bounds calls are at a perfect 45 degree angle and positioning is on point. My head is high and willing to take on anything that the future has for me in my reffing career.